Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
