Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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