i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
