Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize