I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize