id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Floor bacon is actually really good
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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