put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I need a burrito and a hug.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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