Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
