Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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