i just google imaged poop.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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