if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Randomize
