It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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