Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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