Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
