Cold hands, warm shart.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
