She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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