I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
