Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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