I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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