you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
