so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
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I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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