How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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