Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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