I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
