you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
