How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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