just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
