i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
