New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
