We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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