My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
