I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
