Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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