Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
