I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
