I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
