if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
