I wanna passion pit in your ass
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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