My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
