Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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