I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
