Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
