I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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