dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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