i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My liver just had a heart attack.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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