How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
