I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
