Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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