You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
