when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Plan B is the new Plan A
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
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im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
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He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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