FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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