You're so nebulous sometimes
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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