The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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