Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.

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  (973): i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/umpc
  Replies (15) Good night (743) Bad night (2456)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina

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  (269): Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina http://tfl.nu/v4ze
  Replies (80) Good night (5303) Bad night (1155)
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  (707): View more from California

  there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?

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  (707): there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy? http://tfl.nu/j2tm
  Replies (28) Good night (3065) Bad night (687)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex

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  (703): the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex http://tfl.nu/ydbw
  Replies (31) Good night (5232) Bad night (645)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.

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  (734): I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there. http://tfl.nu/fwws
  Replies (28) Good night (4815) Bad night (1024)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.

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  (808): You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone. http://tfl.nu/k63s
  Replies (8) Good night (1128) Bad night (5257)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.

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  (724): Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring. http://tfl.nu/m3s5
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (4356)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations

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  (416): I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations http://tfl.nu/ujgo
  Replies (13) Good night (945) Bad night (4727)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.

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  (303): There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home. http://tfl.nu/5hbi
  Replies (8) Good night (2639) Bad night (1332)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  which one looks the most like her?

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  (704): help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up (919): which one looks the most like her? http://tfl.nu/a8tn
  Replies (31) Good night (1322) Bad night (3469)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.

  (1+44): View more from

  Doesn't she keep a spare?

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.

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  (+44): You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys. (1+44): Doesn't she keep a spare? (+44): Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans. http://tfl.nu/5sic
  Replies (7) Good night (2703) Bad night (997)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.

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  (402): Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord. http://tfl.nu/2tip
  Replies (9) Good night (384) Bad night (1038)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?

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  (509): Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills? http://tfl.nu/9geb
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (452)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story

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  (515): Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story http://tfl.nu/kctl
  Replies (3) Good night (1785) Bad night (389)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?

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  (660): You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that? http://tfl.nu/jtqu
  Replies (5) Good night (519) Bad night (956)

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