first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair