Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.

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  (631): New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled. http://tfl.nu/1807
  Replies (164) Good night (9207) Bad night (960)
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  (760): View more from California

  fuck your aforementioned shoe

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  (760): fuck your aforementioned shoe http://tfl.nu/6ubu
  Replies (27) Good night (4577) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk

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  (918): my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk http://tfl.nu/q4ib
  Replies (14) Good night (4812) Bad night (763)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it

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  (313): if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it http://tfl.nu/hc23
  Replies (8) Good night (1359) Bad night (2314)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.

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  (757): Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny. http://tfl.nu/ezaf
  Replies (10) Good night (3475) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.

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  (403): oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker. http://tfl.nu/xtlj
  Replies (9) Good night (1905) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.

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  (508): Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated. http://tfl.nu/0bri
  Replies (18) Good night (4421) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.

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  (281): And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/b6k4
  Replies (3) Good night (1388) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.

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  (201): Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/iewi
  Replies (6) Good night (1864) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?

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  (770): He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days? http://tfl.nu/yt8d
  Replies (12) Good night (1347) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see

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  (973): Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see http://tfl.nu/gnrw
  Replies (5) Good night (1196) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.

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  (303): I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time. http://tfl.nu/ridr
  Replies (12) Good night (612) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon

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  (219): Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon http://tfl.nu/lp84
  Replies (7) Good night (1230) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.

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  (289): I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me. http://tfl.nu/j2zo
  Replies (7) Good night (958) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?

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  (479): Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends? http://tfl.nu/q9dz
  Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (621)

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