Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?

(408): View more from California

we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I peed while puking? Even better

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are

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(865): View more from Tennessee

His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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(352): View more from Florida

You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

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(727): View more from Florida

Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair

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