I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
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His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.