her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
