i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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