Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
